How To Prioritize Yourself

There is so much content about self-care and making yourself a priority.  All the advice is well-founded and important…
…Schedule time into your calendar just for you
…Speak kindly to yourself
…Ask for help
…Learn to say no
…Value your physical health (diet, exercise, sleep)
…Don’t push aside your own needs to service the needs of others
…Understand you can’t control the thoughts of others
…End toxic friendships and relationships
…Be present and embrace joy

But there is also a case to be made that before you can make yourself a priority you need to discover what your true priorities are.  So, let’s do a deep dive into how you can figure out what to prioritize, and then get a plan for putting those priorities into action.

What is a priority?
A priority is “a thing that is regarded as more important than another.”  It’s time to stop focusing on urgent requests that are masquerading as “important things.”  Take the time to ponder the type of life you’d like to live.  Once you can articulate what your personal values are, then you can distinguish your priorities — the tasks, experiences, and actions that fulfill your personal values.

The reality is that most of us are “reactors.”  We respond to the priorities other people set for us rather than priorities we have defined as important to ourselves.  By setting your own priorities, it gives you the opportunity to exercise personal choice and live out your values on a daily basis.

How do you discover and live your priorities?
Here is a 5-step plan for setting your priorities.

1.  Clarify your values
What do you believe in?  What do you stand for?  It’s OK if your values are not the values your family or your culture holds dear.  This is about recognizing what rings true for you.  Don’t define a value based on a metric — money, status, approval.  And don’t base your priorities on what you think you “should” value.  Be true to yourself.

2.  Put everything in your life through the “Maintain/Improve/Change” test.
Think about every sector of your life — family relationships, friendships, romantic relationships, work responsibilities, home responsibilities, finances, health, hobbies, spirituality, and goals.  As you think about what has transpired in each sector of your life over the last 6 months, think about whether you want to maintain it, improve it, or change it.  Then give yourself one mini task to take a baby step forward toward achieving that status.

3.  Give a new habit a trial run.
Is the mini task you set for yourself worth turning into a habit?  It takes 21 days to turn a behavior into a habit.  When you start small, you’ll be able to see if the burgeoning habit truly supports your personal values and is actually worth keeping.  Really commit to that trial run for 21 days and see how you feel about the habit after 3 weeks.  

4. Don’t over burden yourself.
When you take on too much in pursuit of your personal values, then none of it feels do-able.  Limit yourself to taking no more than three actions that match your priorities in a day.  Don’t spread yourself too thin.

5.  Focus on each sector of your life for short time frames.
You can’t focus on all the sectors of your life at once.  Give yourself a break.  For example, if you make “family relationships” the priority around the holidays, you give yourself permission to not take on new work projects at that time of year.  Those newfound boundaries will help you feel present.

6.  Note the difference between “important” and “urgent”.
Urgent tasks call for immediate action.  Important tasks are in service to your personal values and long-term goals.  Make it your priority to cut or delegate urgent but unimportant tasks (ie: You tackled an important work project, so hire help for grocery shopping.).

7.  Think before you accept.
Ask yourself what you’d need to give up before you take on a task.  Is that “change” in line with your personal values?

It’s Your Life — It Deserves Your Full Attention
Personal values…priorities…habits…this hierarchy sets the stage for a life that is meaningful and in balance because your focus will be intentional.  YOU will be your own priority!

In OHI’s Focus Class, we help identify what is most important to you, and teach you how to achieve your highest priorities – Call us today (800) 588-0809 to make your reservation.